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Mellow

Mellow
Thunder Manifestation || First Progression [Done] Latest?cb=20140710113005

Magic

Flash Mob Friday:



Saturday Night Special:


Wicked Weekday:



Last edited by Mellow on Fri May 13, 2016 5:08 pm; edited 7 times in total

Kaelyn

Kaelyn
Hello there, Mellow. I will be pre-reviewing your application!

Flash Mob Friday:
- The cooldown is 2 posts.
- Class is ‘Offense’ or ‘Offensive’ by the way. A typo.
- D-rank spells cannot deal C-rank damage in any way.
- There is no such thing as disrupting mana flow.
- To cast this spell again you will have to wait the duration of your cooldown which is 2 posts. Using double the mana will not excuse you from this.
- Please add the range of this spell.

Saturday Night Special:
- A spell cannot have two elements involved. Please remove ‘Ice’ as your element and replace it with ‘Lightning’.
- Please note that each bullet will do a 10th of D-rank damage. This sort of damage cannot lock up any kind of limb unless your target is ant-sized.

Wicked Weekday:
- A spell cannot have two elements involved. Please remove ‘Ice’ as your element and replace it with ‘Lightning’.
- The cooldown is 3 posts.
- Please mention that this spell does D-rank damage as it has two effects (offensive and debuffing).
- Just a reminder that when a D-rank strength debuff is used, your target has no reduced physical strength.

Bump when fixed!

Mellow

Mellow
Woah, I wasn't aware it said Ice, I must've missed that, I had CPed someone's stuff and deleted their stuff to create my spells because I couldn't find the app code. That must be where Ice came from, anyways, changes are being made now.

Sayuno

Sayuno
*jumps in*

http://www.natsudragneel.com/t3983-the-magic-regulations#25506 (scroll down)

*jumps out*

Mellow

Mellow
Luul, I completely missed that, thanks Yuno.

Bump please.

Kaelyn

Kaelyn
Okay so there are still some things needed to be fixed.

Flash Mob Friday:
- You did correct the damage to D-rank, but there is no extra damage, please remove that.
- Please mention the range in figures. If it is the length of a sword, please specify the length.

Saturday Night Special:
- The damage is still very small to lock up any sort of limb. A D-rank worth of damage already has a small chance to do such a thing. There is almost no chance for a tenth of it. You may add that this spell does a tenth of D-rank damage.

Wicked Weekday:
- You haven't fixed the cooldown (3 posts).
- You haven't mentioned that it does D-rank damage.

Bump when done!

Mellow

Mellow
FMF: It just says the spell does D-rank damage, that talk about a wasp sting is just simply an explanation of what my lightning feels like against skin, for clarity though, I am willing to remove it specifically saying it does D-rank damage. But I'd like for people to know what kind of feeling/effect it causes to linger. The blade length varies with swords, since my zealot isn't done, I don't have an exact number on what it would be at the starting line.

SDS: D-rank damage is already literally no damage, a tenth of that is practically no feeling at all, a child could run through my attack with no drawback. I just feel that's not what this spell intends to do, It's actually meant to affect someone. No disrespect, I'm just wondering if there may be an alternative route I can take to get what I'm looking for with this or not.
Regulations wrote:D-RANK: These are just little spells, barely usable in most situations. However, should used right even they can be found effective. Think paper cuts, very little bruising and first degree burns as far as damage goes.

WW: C-ranks don't deal C-rank damage? Am I lost here, but based on this my C-rank powers are the same damage as my D-rank powers even though they're supposed to be doing things like this?
Regulations wrote:C-RANK: A novice Mage's best friend. These spells are starting to get a little more useful, doing moderately deep cuts, big bruises, and second degree burns.




I'm not discrediting you or anything, I just feel that's a super big nerf considering these don't even do much to begin with : o

WW was changed to a cooldown of three.

Kaelyn

Kaelyn
FMF: Yes, there is nothing wrong with describing the effect of your spell, I just wanted you to remove the word extra, which when you have done this spell will be good to go.

SDS: The problem with this is where you stated it locks up a limb. A tenth of a D-rank cannot do that. But if you limit this spell to allowing you to use exactly one bullet, you may be able to do this. However, if you want to have 10 bullets, you will have to remove this effect as each bullet will only cause tiny little stings.

WW: C-ranks do deal C-rank damage. The reason this spell does D-rank damage is because you have added a debuff. If you want this spell to have 2 effects, you have to decrease the damage output. If you want it to deal C-rank damage, you can remove the debuff.

I hope this cleared the confusion. Bump when fixed.

Mellow

Mellow
Ah, gotcha now.

Bump.

Kaelyn

Kaelyn
Yes perfect, now that you've made most changes there are 2 more things that I am going to ask you to do.

i. Please mention that the max range for FMF will be 5 meters (according to the rules). Since the range is dependent on your weapon, you will need to add that in case your weapon is longer or something.

ii. WW is a multi-function spell and I'm not sure if that's allowed (even though I asked you to fix it). I will ask an admin and inform you if it is. Please wait for now and bump when fixed!

Mellow

Mellow
Fixed.

WW hasn't been a multi-effect spell since before my last bump anyways.~

Kaelyn

Kaelyn
Alright this is good to go.

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