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1Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Aknaid Kuraikage Sat Sep 13, 2014 11:06 am

Valiance Ayatsu

Valiance Ayatsu

   Aknaid Kuraikage 17-24
   __________________________________________________
   "There is never enough time."
   

Name(s): Aknaid
Nickname(s): "Insectman"
Age: Unknown
Sex: Male
Birthday: October 31, X???
Class: Scout
Alignment: Neutral
Rank: D
Guild: Raven Tail
Guild Tattoo: Back of head
Face Claim: N/A

II. APPEARANCE

Height: 5'10"
Weight: 163lbs
Hair: N/A
Eyes: Red/Black
General Appearance: Scaly yet metallic. Aknaid's skin and composure is that of a beetle or a snake. It is something reflective yet matte. It is an armor made and grown to protect the heart that Aknaid reveals to those close to him. His hands have something of claws or knives for fingers. However, in spite of this they do not cut or slice those that Aknaid himself does not wish to harm.
Extra: No revealed mouth

III. PERSONALITY

Personality: Aknaid is a silent type of creature. He prefers to watch and observe before going out to explore. When encountered he appears to be a rather threatening thing with spikes and other intimidating things on his body. In reality he is a kind soul who wants nothing more to learn. He will gladly read a book to you if you asked. Because of this, he is known as "Father Aknaid" to some. When in battle he is seen as a blood thirsty mutant would would gladly rip your spine from your body if he got the chance. He will do anything to ensure the safety of his family and his friends. He can be very insensitive, he doesn't know when to stop joking but he usually doesn't mean what he says about you. But when he gives you a compliment he really means it. He thinks that when you say something good about someone you better mean it. But saying bad things should be a joke unless that person deserves it. And he is misunderstood because of this, he is thought to be evil even. In battle, he does his best to stay levelheaded. Though, much to his displeasure when people point it out, Aknaid can get reckless. He prefers to fight alone though will give little or no protest to someone who joins in with him. Despite enjoying to be dominant, battle is one of the few places where he highly doesn't mind nor care about being the leader. He does mind being pushed to the sidelines somewhere and would protest loudly against it. If he feels that his opponent has no sense of battle rules in their mind, he'll do her best to not follow the rules of battle also. He'd like the battlefield to be fairly even, but even Aknaid knows that can not be possible all the time.
Likes:

  • Food
  • Ramen
  • Reading
  • Quiet places

Dislikes:

  • Chaotic Villains
  • Fourth Horseman (Rival)
  • Chaotic Heroes
  • Loud places

Motivations: Aknaid wants to protect those that see that the world is corrupt and will fight to cleanse the world.
Fears:

  • Dirt, he fears germs and disease.
  • Ignorance, he finds it both insulting and fearsome. For it is those that have no education that submit themselves into the darkness

Positive Traits:

  • Stealthy (+3),
  • Regeneration (+4),
  • High Society (+2),
  • Nimble Fingers (+2), ,
  • Animal Affinity (+2),
  • Alertness (+2),
  • Blindsight (+4),
  • Blind-Fight (+4),

Negative Traits:

  • Branded (-2),  
  • Righteous (-1),
  • Reckless (-1),
  • Judgmental (-1),
  • Intolerance (-1), [Rudeness]
  • Harbinger of Ill Omen (-1), [Minato Kamikaze]
  • Extravagant (-2),
  • Disfigurement (-2),
  • Insanity:Generalized Anxiety Disorder (-3),
  • Dark Secret (-1), [His past]
  • Cowardly (-2),
  • Compulsive Honesty (-2),
  • Bad Reputation (-1),
  • Amnesia (-1)


IV. MAGIC

Magic: Art of Mummification (Takeover)
Caster or Holder: Caster
Description: Aknaid had been taught a skill of preserving bodies for later use in the future with Necromancy. After years upon years of preserving bodies, he learned how to preserve his own. Through this he watched mages grow skilled in elements, while his own magic grew stronger in its own way.

The Art of Mummification is based on the sudden alteration of Aknaid's body. What it does it manipulate, create and destroy his very being. It could extend his reach to far distances, but however would tear his arm off in the process. He could create tentacles from his chest, at the cost of exposing his vital organs. The magic is what makes Aknaid appear non-human, and in many ways less-than or even more-than human. This magic is how he earned the name "Aknaid" a shortened title of the spider species.
Strengths:

  • Extremely versatile
  • Very powerful
  • The item used to cast the magic, is part of his body.

Weaknesses:

  • Not as much range as other spells
  • Not as strong as other magics
  • Spells can be easily dodged and countered in situations
  • Even at S rank, this magic is not mastered.


V. HISTORY

History: Aknaid was born into life where his end, nor beginning was defined. This is had become a fact due to a mishap with a mage who controled time travel. His father was known to many, both the living and the dead as "The Demon of Life". His father's children all grew to fill his role in some way, shape, or form. Aknaid was known as the "Demon of Time." He earned this name by growing up without ever really knowing his father. In his world, the Demon of Life died when he was just a child. After years upon years of research, Aknaid found a way to go back in time... to save his father from his demise... Only then did he learn what his father died protecting... him and his mother. After he suffered the wounds from the same thing that killed his father, the time's paradox trapped Aknaid within his own past. Because of this, his past self was wiped from existence, and his present self took the child's place. This is how he lost his childhood.

But despite being called Demons, (of both time and life) he is not a demon. Aknaid's father was a Possessed Spirit, and his mother the daughter of the Sun God. Because his father was born a human, but later changed into a spiritborn, and his mother that of a god, Aknaid was born a human, but after discovering his own magic, became the first full "Fallen Spirit". By being a fallen spirit, Aknaid is as equal unholy as holy. He is both devil and angel, dead and living. He is the equal being, both of light and darkness. This does not change who he is on the inside, it only effects how he is seen by the gods and demons of the world. He is simply just a boy... with a family that has one hell of a reputation.

So Aknaid met his father for the first real time in his life. He smiled to his mother who was much younger than he remembered. And his father told him, "Just as you have saved me, I will save you." His father told him a great deal of stories and myths about his family. It was the first time Aknaid ever spoke with him, so he listened inventively. "There was a land called Fiore, it was there I met your mother, and found myself. I think you would find a great story to tell if you ever go there." Aknaid took his father's words to heart. He wasn't sending him away, but rather wished he could have given him a childhood worth telling. Aknaid knew this, and asked for the location of the world. His father handed him a medallion from that world, and told him that he would find his way with that. Aknaid took up the time portal again and passed through it.


And with this he traveled into a new world... one that his father remembers but does not live.

The world of Fiore.



Last edited by Aknaid on Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:38 pm; edited 10 times in total

2Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:36 pm

Kazuki Kobayashi

Kazuki Kobayashi
Alright, I'll be reviewing this application.

First, we stopped allowing non-humans some time ago. Please fix this.

Your traits needs to be listed in a list using that actual command if you'd like. Please use existing characters for an example if this confuses you.

Your magic sounds an awful lot like copycat magic. This is not allowed, so please change your magic.

Bump when edited.

3Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sat Sep 13, 2014 12:55 pm

Valiance Ayatsu

Valiance Ayatsu
I think that's it...

I think?

BUMP

4Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:35 am

Kazuki Kobayashi

Kazuki Kobayashi
You still have not fixed the positive and negative traits. They need to be in list format. Example:


  • Acrobatic
  • Zealot


Your magic, as you stated, is dangerously close to Take Over Magic. We do not allow emulation of Lost Magics, either. You can feel free to apply for Take Over in any guild that has them available. This list can be found in the Magic List in Lists and Rosters.

Bump when edited.

5Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 11:27 am

Valiance Ayatsu

Valiance Ayatsu
Bump...? I hope

6Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 12:41 pm

Kazuki Kobayashi

Kazuki Kobayashi
Your history still indicates that you aren't human. We do not allow demons, extraplanar entities, avatars of gods, Drow, or anything else of that nature. Please fix this. I've no qualms with him being human beneath a suit.

7Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 1:33 pm

Valiance Ayatsu

Valiance Ayatsu
So there is no way to be a human in a artificial body? He is not a demon, but is regarded as one due to his appearance...

8Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:00 pm

Kazuki Kobayashi

Kazuki Kobayashi
No. If it's an artificial body, this could be manipulated later to say that he doesn't feel pain or he doesn't have human limits.

The real problem is you stating that you were born into alternate timelines, etc. You are, in short, trying to make your character some sort of demi god or...well, I'm not quite sure what. It's difficult to swallow.

Also, your magic still involves the transformation of body parts, which is Take Over. If you're going for Take Over, change it to Take Over. If not, please change your magic.

9Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:04 pm

Valiance Ayatsu

Valiance Ayatsu
I believe it is fixed now...

10Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:11 pm

Kazuki Kobayashi

Kazuki Kobayashi
Alright, some quick notes. For strength, take out the part about not being able to be eaten by a Slayer. If one of your Take Overs allows you to shoot water bullets, the water Slayers would be able to consume them.

Take Over isn't a Holder. You cannot use your body as the Holder, lest you'd be doing at-rank damage with punches and kicks. This is a no-go.

Lastly, your claws will never be able to do rending damage, or any damage greater than what your special characteristics allow--please keep this in mind. I'll allow the crazy looking dude, but you're human and thus fall into the same limitations as every other character. Fix the first two things mentioned, and bump when edited.

11Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:13 pm

Valiance Ayatsu

Valiance Ayatsu
almost there....

12Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:18 pm

Kazuki Kobayashi

Kazuki Kobayashi
For characteristics, please mention the following:

Dark Secret: What is it?

Harbinger: Who is it?

Intolerance: State what you're intolerant to.

Bump when edited!

13Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:21 pm

Valiance Ayatsu

Valiance Ayatsu
bump

14Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:27 pm

Kazuki Kobayashi

Kazuki Kobayashi
Edit your Harbinger to be Minato Kamikaze.

Bump when edited!

15Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:39 pm

Valiance Ayatsu

Valiance Ayatsu
Yes master....

o.o

16Aknaid Kuraikage Empty Re: Aknaid Kuraikage Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:40 pm

Kazuki Kobayashi

Kazuki Kobayashi
Allllllllright. Looks good to me.

APPROVED

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