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1Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Tue Jun 24, 2014 7:28 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
Magic: Chain magic
Element: light

version 1.0:



Last edited by Renshi Gerrod on Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:38 am; edited 10 times in total

http://grandiarp.com

2Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Thu Jun 26, 2014 3:32 pm

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
Bump, finished my starter spells, and I'm ready to fix any problems so far.

http://grandiarp.com

3Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Fri Jul 04, 2014 12:35 pm

Warren Dent

Warren Dent
Convert
http://www.natsudragneel.com/t2297-new-magic-system-preview-ndrp-2014

4Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sat Jul 05, 2014 4:57 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
bump, updated my spells and kept the old ones in spoiler. Also, I switched the rank of two spells.

http://grandiarp.com

5Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Thu Jul 10, 2014 4:07 pm

Warren Dent

Warren Dent
Okay, i'll check your spells.

Name: Grim Hook
You need to tell me how large the grappling hook is. I need the dimensions of how wide the chain and the hook both are.


Name: Scaled Chain
How thick is the chain? Give me a direct size of it. You may tell me the circumference and that should be enough. Remove the buff for now, as we have not added in the system that allows for buffing. (Hence why we were wanting people to wait.)

Name: Hand of the Fallen
You have the size vague once again. We give wiggle room on the guidelines so that you can tell us the exact size in the "effect" area. You need to do this. Your duration relies on it to hit and then you have to react afterwards, at most that means it is one post duration wise. Trying to do this "throws chain out and if it hit its target, the user would quickly turn his body and toss the person away." <- is considered more than instant here as it has two distinct parts that rely on you.

Example: Throwing a dagger that detonates on contact. = Instant
Throwing a dagger that has to be triggered to explode. = 1 post.
Why? Because you actively have to trigger the explosion, opposed to say it just doing it on its own.

Name: Death's Grasp
For the sake of how this works you might as well use Defensive otherwise the chains can be broken. Snares and such would most likely need the defensive point trait even if you register them as supplementary. As it is right now you couldn't bind anything other than weak npc with these.

Name: Piercing Light
Can not pierce through weapons. Be more detailed about the sizes within the parameters of your point choice. See example on guide.

Add cooldowns to all your spells, see guide.

6Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Fri Jul 11, 2014 1:30 pm

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
Pretty sure I fixed all of the previous problems, so bump :3

http://grandiarp.com

7Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sun Jul 13, 2014 11:27 pm

Koloktos Ghirahim

Koloktos Ghirahim
Reread what I asked you to fix, I think you may have missed things without realizing.

8Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Mon Jul 14, 2014 5:26 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
Because of my internet I think a part of my edit got deleted again, thereforeI thought I was done, but wasn't. If there's still something missing, please let me know.

http://grandiarp.com

9Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Wed Jul 16, 2014 6:35 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
Bump, still waiting :3

http://grandiarp.com

10Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sat Jul 19, 2014 5:08 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
bumpedy bump bump

http://grandiarp.com

11Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sat Jul 26, 2014 3:17 am

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine
System has changed a bit, check it out Here.

12Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sat Jul 26, 2014 8:42 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
does this mean i need to change anything big, cause i don't see any problems with my spells so far?

http://grandiarp.com

13Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sat Jul 26, 2014 9:43 pm

Tali Zorah

Tali Zorah
Grim Hook
-Please include range and speed in the spell description.
-Also make this an offensive spell.

Scaled Chain
-Please state the size of the chain, or the size the body part becomes while wrapped in the chain.

Hand of the Fallen
-Please give the range and size in the description.

Death's Grasp
-Be a little more specific about the chains. How big are they? How many people can get trapped? How are the chains controlled after you create them, or are they animated?
-Make this an offensive spell.

Piercing Light
-State size and range in the spell description.
-Make it offensive.

14Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sun Jul 27, 2014 3:18 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
Edited, also, i had the size of the chains be the same size for every spell, thus i put: "(chains used in spell are about 2x2 cm)" above them, but i added it in for every spell to make it a little more clear.

http://grandiarp.com

15Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sun Jul 27, 2014 8:47 am

Tali Zorah

Tali Zorah
Just a couple more things. For Death's Grasp, how can someone break out of the chain bindings?

As for Scaled Chain, I'm a little confused why you put 3 points in size when the chain you use for all spells is the same size.

Lastly, change the Defense stat to Damage for Death's Grasp.

16Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sun Jul 27, 2014 11:38 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
Fixed, and to be honest, i dont even know why i had points in size there... So i turned the, into speed to represent how fast they wrap around a bodypart.

http://grandiarp.com

17Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sun Jul 27, 2014 7:56 pm

Tali Zorah

Tali Zorah
You still need to make the needed edits to Death's Grasp. Also, as far as speed is concerned for Scaled Chain, the chain wrapping around the body part in question is considered to be instant. For that spell, you really only need defense and duration.

18Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Mon Jul 28, 2014 12:44 pm

Tali Zorah

Tali Zorah
I'm terribly sorry, but according to the results of the recent site wide poll, we have elected to return to the original format. Please refer to the Magic Rules and Magic Template to make your edits and do not be afraid to ask a member of staff if you have any questions.

19Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sat Aug 02, 2014 1:28 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
I basically merged the two together, so there might be something still wrong here, but for the most part i reverted...

I actually liked the new system *sob*

http://grandiarp.com

20Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sat Aug 02, 2014 1:48 pm

Tali Zorah

Tali Zorah
Grim Hook still needs a range and a speed.

Hand of the Fallen cannot fracture bones as D ranks are not capable of dealing that much damage. Also state that a person can be thrown up to 10 meters away. It also needs a speed.

Death's Grasp needs a speed.

Piercing Light cannot fracture bones for the same reason as Hand of the Fallen. Deep cuts is fine, but take out fractures. You also need a speed for this spell.

Make these changes and I will approve.

21Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Sat Aug 02, 2014 2:22 pm

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
I fixed everything and made the speed for everything 5 m/s because I couldn't find the max speed for D and C rank spells. If I could make them faster, I'd like to change that before getting approved.^^

http://grandiarp.com

22Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Tue Aug 05, 2014 1:43 am

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine
Take out any spell speeds mentioned.

Grim Hook: Add a sustain cost.

Scaled Chain: Add a sustain cost.

Hand of the Fallen: Where is the chain produced from? You need a drawback if you want to extend the range of the spell.

Death's Grasp: Bump the range down to 5 meters. Do the chains spring from the ground?

Piercing Light: Where is the chain fired from?

23Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Tue Aug 05, 2014 2:39 am

Renshi Gerrod

Renshi Gerrod
Bump, fixed all those things, and now I'm starting to feel stupid for making this many mistakes -.-'

http://grandiarp.com

24Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Empty Re: Renshi's starter spells (Finished) Tue Aug 05, 2014 6:00 pm

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine
No worries, Approved. ^.^

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