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1Raze Trevon Empty Raze Trevon Sun Jun 08, 2014 2:44 pm

Raze Trevon

Raze Trevon

   Raze Trevon Blue_haired_anime_boy-1680x1050_%282%29
   __________________________________________________
   "Who needs friends anyway? All you need is magic"
   

Name(s): Raze Trevon
Nickname(s): Dragon of the North, Frostwing, Dragon of the Frozen Peek.
Age: 19
Sex: Male
Birthday: 28/April/X761
Sexuality: Heterosexual
Class: Cleric
Alignment: Neutral
Rank: D-rank
Guild: Crime Sorcière‏
Guild Tattoo: Upper left back, color: Dark blue
Face Claim: Tre (reborn), Supreme Dragon Ball Tre

II. APPEARANCE

Height: 6'2"
Weight: 70 kg
Hair: Darkish blue
Eyes: Yellow

General Appearance: Raze has reasonably long blue hair tied together behind his head. His eyes are bright yellow, and he always has his Headphone's. Raze can usually be seen wearing a orange and blue coat which is always unzipped so someone could see his blackish-gray T-shirt. He usually wears blue,  ripped up jeans along with this. Finally, no matter the weather, he always wears blackish blue slippers, and a small ankle band on his left leg, which has no real use.

III. PERSONALITY

Personality: Raze is a reasonably annoying person, and even though he might seem reckless and stupid, he has his own reasons for doing so. He usually seems a little overconfident, but never goes for a fight he can't win. Raze is sometimes extremely cautious, and will stay away anyone who annoys him. Because he gets annoyed easily, he’ll tend to stay away from other guild members.

Raze has a tendency to feel threatened by anyone with magic that requires great control, because he himself, fails horribly at it.

Raze always keeps to himself, not out of shyness, but out of a feeling of superiority. He never feels like taking a job with anyone else, unless absolutely necessary. When the time comes that he does have to work with someone, he’ll get upset about the slightest thing a person does, because he will think that he’s able to do it better.

One thing that makes Raze even worse than how he usually is, is when he gets the slightest amount of alcohol in his body. Instead of becoming a normal type of drunk, Raze will become the most helpful person, and will stop at nothing to assist someone in what they’re doing. Raze doesn't even need to drink a full glass to get this occurrence to happen, and most of the time, he won’t even realize what he’s done during the time he was drunk.

Likes: Open shoes, fighting, new spells and frankly... money.

Dislikes: People, unnecessary conflicts and thieves.

Motivations: Raze never really had a home to go to, and after traveling part of the world, Raze learned about magic and found his own kind. Because he wanted, and needed money, he decided to join a guild. Raze is usually of on missions, because his personality suggests he doesn't really like the contact with his own guild.

Fears: Superiority complex: a feeling of being better than everyone. Because he felt "betrayed" by his teacher, he started thinking that other people are somewhat lower that himself. Chronophobia: Fear of time.

Positive Traits:

  • Diehard +2
  • Deceitful +2
  • Swift +3.


Negative Traits:

  • Aloof -1
  • Arrogant -1
  • Envious -1
  • Greedy -1
  • Merciful -1
  • Overconfident -1
  • Proud -1


IV. MAGIC

Magic: Ice-make magic
Caster or Holder: Caster type
Description: Ice-make Magic allows the user to mold or create something out of ice by concentrating their Magic Power into their hands, like an element, into different shapes or forms. If the user uses both of their hands in molding ice, they can create an accurate form of their element. Casting one-handed is easier, but it is a less stable form of molding, and may result in less powerful creations.

Strengths:
- Has a freezing effect.
-Great defensive magic.
- Resistant to ice magic and the cold.
- Can be used in long range.
- Strong against water.

Weaknesses:
- Can shatter if hit hard enough; Weak to Bludgeon damage.
- One of the weakest magics for a beginner.
- Can be used in long range.
- Weak against metal.
V. HISTORY

History: On an ironically warm day on top of a mountain, the young boy Raze was born in a small shack on top of a hill. The place had always been quite warm, and the day of him being born, a sudden snowstorm appeared. The parents, exhausted from the work known as giving birth, couldn't do anything, and during the storm, they found out the reason behind this storm. A dragon, as rare as they are, appeared on his birthday, and in a hungry search for food, the dragon ate his parents. Raze was found a day later, by a female wizard named Gena Zeraki. The Wizard took Raze in, and raised him to be a free boy.
On a particular day, when Gena was training, Raze was watching behind the door of the newly made shack, and he was so amazed by what happened, that he couldn’t manage to stay hidden. Gena found out about his attraction to ice magic, and decided to teach him. The training continued until Raze was 10 years old. Gen left Raze, leaving behind a note saying:”I must go, keep practicing your moves until you can defend yourself, and then, head south to find a guild”. Raze was devastated to lose his only contact, which he saw as his mother. He was so broken, that he lost trust in most people, which created his odd behavior around people.
Through those years, Raze was trained to live in the harsh snowy mountains, and the best way to do so, was to teach him Ice magic. The reason Raze thought Gena left, was that he was finished training. Although the real reason was, that he simply couldn't master his own magic. Even though Raze was taught Ice magic, his magical power spiked the moment he fired any kind of attack. This occurrence led to any ice-made attack to literally spike in any direction on impact. Raze, after living on his own for a while, started to wonder his frozen mountain area, practicing his magic.
At the age of fourteen, after many failed attempts of ice magic, Raze learned that his so called "power spike" can be used to enhance his destructive properties. He gave up on learning any kind of control, and kept to the smaller attack, bursting into a spiked outburst of magical ice.
After living in solitude for 4 more years, Raze learned of guilds, and their use. He ventured outside of his cold wasteland, and was guided to the guild of Crime Sorcière, by it's Guild Master Yitian Zuniga‏. That would be a year ago today.

(I know Yitian personally, and he's agreed to let me into the guild)

Extra: I realize that my name isn't the same as my username, but I'll be working towards buying a name change to set that straight.



Last edited by Mechsoul on Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:30 pm; edited 4 times in total

2Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Mon Jun 09, 2014 4:01 am

Raze Trevon

Raze Trevon
bump

3Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Mon Jun 09, 2014 8:56 am

Naga


Hey Raze, your application unfortunately does not meet the standards for a Dragon Slayer application. Please apply for a different magic.

Other issues:

  • The face claim is the character you are using as your appearance. I could not find anyone under the name of Tre in Dragon Ball Z.
  • General appearance 41/75 words.
  • Personality 67/200 words.
  • History 328/400 words.


Don't worry about the name. We change it without charging points when you create your character.

Bump when you've fixed the application.

4Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Tue Jun 10, 2014 2:06 am

Raze Trevon

Raze Trevon
bump

extra: quick question, if i had just changed the other things that where wrong, but kept the ice dragon slayer magic, would it have been accepted? I don't really want it anymore anyways, because ice-make still fits me better, but i just wanted to know.

5Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:42 am

Naga


That's wouldn't have been possible unfortunately.

Seeing that you have copy pasted your magic without removing the footnote references from the wikia I'd like to ask you to change your rank to D-class. I think you're new to this which is absolutely fine but let's take it easy and have you work your way up to gain some experience. And of course, please remove the footnote references from your application.

I'll have a mod look over this app as soon as possible.

6Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Tue Jun 10, 2014 6:47 am

Raze Trevon

Raze Trevon
I'm quite familiar with role playing, only not as strict this one (compared to other sites I've been to).
I've changed my rank to D-rank, and removed what I thought you meant that needed to be removed.

7Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Tue Jun 10, 2014 8:12 am

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine

Coding -

Code:
[list][*][*][*][/list]
Use this ^ for your likes, dislikes, positive traits, and negative traits please.

Guild Tattoo - State the color of the guild tattoo.

Fears - Elaborate on your first fear.

Magic - Please remove, "the cold gives him power and strength, it enhances his magic my 10%; So in a cold environment, such as the mountains, ice caves, so on, his magic power is enhanced." Take out the weakness to fire magic. Include that it is strong against water and weak against metal. Take out the weaker in hotter climates also. You copied the wrong magic description by the way. The one you copied was molding magic in general. You'd want to look at the actual ice make variation for your description.

History - Your history looks relatively fine except how you join Crime Sorciere. You wouldn't be able to simply just travel into Crime Sorciere as it isn't a known guild. Someone would have to personally induct you in rather it be an NPC or a PC. This can be done through roleplaying it out or you could change the history to have you be recruited. I will ask that if you go the history route and decide to use a PC, ask that PC about it first. Don't just randomly put their name in your history. But, that's only if you decide to go that route. You could always just have an unnamed NPC induct you in. Which ever works.

8Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:04 pm

Raze Trevon

Raze Trevon
bump

9Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:28 pm

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine

My bad. I happen to have left something out. Your app. if fine now but I need you to change the magic description to specify that you are using the ice element. the way it's worded now is basically saying it's multi-elemental allowing you to use any element for molding, when this is not the case. Sorry, about that.

Bump when fixed.

10Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:31 pm

Raze Trevon

Raze Trevon
bump

11Raze Trevon Empty Re: Raze Trevon Tue Jun 10, 2014 12:38 pm

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine

Approved.

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