You are not connected. Please login or register

View previous topic View next topic Go down  Message [Page 1 of 1]

1Jabo Devine Empty Jabo Devine Tue Apr 01, 2014 5:03 am

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine 8807d9e9b5bdf2223061318aeb9cb4c6
__________________________________________________
"That sounds like the struggle."

Name(s): Jabo Devine
Nickname(s): J, Jab, JB, Psykhe's Wrath
Age: 24
Sex: Male
Birthday: January 22nd, x756
Sexuality: Male
Class: Mystic
Alignment: Lawful Neutral
Rank: A
Guild: Crime Sorcière
Guild Tattoo: Middle of his back in black.
Face Claim: Trafalgar Law - One Piece

II. APPEARANCE

Height: 6"4
Weight: 150 lbs
Hair: Blueish-Black
Eyes: Yellowish-Gray
General Appearance: Jabo is a relatively skinny young man who is above the normal height. He has black/dark blue hair which sometimes can't be seen due to hats however the times when his hair is seen it is wavy, and messy. He also has sideburns and a small black goatee to go along with his hair. Jabo has many tribal-style tattoos on his arms; on both of his hands, are the letters D, E, A, T, and H tattooed in black on each of the back of his fingers. He also has a black cross on the back of both of his hands. On his chest, he has a tribal-style heart tattoo with his family crest on it. He has simpler heart tattoo on his shoulders and his family's crest tattooed on his back. Most of his tattoos he got while wondering Fiore. Clothes wise Jabo could sometimes be seen in an assortment of hoodies, t-shirts, an exotic hat and usually black shoes.
Extra: Jabo's multiple tattoos in which he has. Has a brand on his left butt cheek from when he was enslaved.

III. PERSONALITY

Personality:
Jabo is a very complex person. He has a lot of elements to him and some people could find him a hard person to understand. One of the first things that's notable about Jabo is his problem with authority and people whom abuse their positions of power. He doesn't really deal with authority to well as it makes him feel like somebody has way too much control over his actions. This is a big part of who he is and takes a decision in most decisions that he will make. Although he does have a problem with authority he is learning that sometimes it's okay to give in and not be so stubborn. Another major part of Jabo is how hard headed or stubborn he is. This also deals with his problem with authority is that he doesn't like to listen to others, which is a bad thing most of the time. If he was to listen more often he would probably be acceptable. Even though he's hardheaded he does have his moments where he will actually listen. Jabo is also slow at times. Basically because he doesn't listen most of the time it will come off that he's stupid which isn't the case. Impulsiveness is another part of Jabo's personality. This also comes along with the fact that he doesn't listen to others very often. Sometimes, he makes decisions without thinking about them. What some might call a "I don't care attitude" is also another thing about Jabo. It's a certain mood that effects Jabo to where he get's very reckless. This is usually something that happens when Jabo becomes angry. Which, is pretty rare but there are certain things that really irk Jabo. Jabo is also the type of person that doesn't take shit from anybody. Male or female, he doesn't care what you're going through as long as you don't take it out on him. A very uncommon trait that Jabo has that's not found in people as young as him is his forgetfulness. He has a very selective memory and sometimes can forget things he was just told.

Despite Jabo's many flaws he's actually I friendly person. He's a very goofy type of person. Jabo loves to make people laugh and to joke around. He always talks a lot of crap which is something that most people have to grow into. People aren't usually used to people like Jabo speaking a lot of the time what's on his mind. He always speaks what he thinks is the truth, whether it's wrong or right because that's just the type of person he is. Most of the time he says things he is joking around. Because he jokes around so much people tend to think this is annoying. Also, because he's been known to be a bit of a jabber jaw as he could sometimes talk people's ears off. Jabo says a lot of smart remarks because he likes messing with people, but he tries not to take it too far. Which could be bad because sometimes he can't tell when people are serious or not. Jabo is not a very serious person. He rarely takes things serious unless he deems it necessary. During his time of being enslaved it gave Jabo a new perspective on things. It made him have this side to where he could be real serious. Although he is fairly playful he has also been known to be realatvely scary at times to a point where he intimidates most. It's not a side that most get from Jabo however it does come out sometimes. This happens most of the time when he battles someone that he is taking seriously or if a situation is very serious. Another thing about him is that he gets bored very easily. This is mainly because he allows himself to get bored most of the time due to his laziness. Unless he deems something fun Jabo can be very lazy when it comes to committing his self to things. Which is why doing missions and training are some of the only things that will keep Jabo from not being bored. Another thing about him as that although he would probably never admit it, he sometimes relies on people more than he lets on. When Jabo puts his mind to something he could really accomplish things. He's as smart as he wants to be and is very smart but doesn't use his brain a lot. Along with this Jabo also has a problem with paying attention to things. He has a very short attention span, and ignores a lot of things.

The way Jabo grew up he learned quickly that trust is something that's earned. He thinks that you shouldn't just hand your trust out to people whom you don't know very well. Which is probably why some would say he has trust issues. Sometimes humans can really get on Jabo's nerves. He doesn't understand the logical reasoning behind most of things that they do sometimes and really questions society. Jabo could also be a very compassionate person, especially when it's something that he really cares about. He also gives very good advice, even on subjects that most would think that he wouldn't know about. His compassionate side is why a lot of people will come to him about advice because most of the time on a emotional level Jabo could tell where somebody could come from. Jabo is a realist. People usually see this as him being negative, which could be true some of the time. But most of the time he's just telling what he believes to be the truth. When it comes to females Jabo doesn't really understand them. They do things that make Jabo really question them. With Jabo being the type of person he is, he doesn't hold back on his intentions towards woman. This has lead to him being called a pervert multiple times in the past. However most women seem not to mind because at the same time he could be a complete gentleman and they often seem to think he's handsome. Jabo isn't completely against a girlfriend he just doesn't feel the need to get one. Another thing about Jabo is that he curses a lot. He has grown to have a bit of a sailor's mouth. Jabo could also be really reckless. He sometimes do things without thinking them through that don't make sense. This is because Jabo could sometimes over due it a lot of the time. If you're not used to it this could lead to you not really liking Jabo.

Likes:

  • Food
  • Freedom
  • Fun
  • Helping Others
  • Laughter
  • Mediation
  • Music
  • Sleep
  • Women

Dislikes:

  • Abuse of power
  • Barbaric Assholes
  • Being Bored
  • Betrayal of ones allies
  • Blatant Ignorance
  • Bullies
  • Insecurity
  • Magic Council
  • Misdirected Anger
  • Reading
  • Unfairness


Motivations: One of the ways Jabo see's himself really helping Fiore is if he becomes a wizard saint. This has to do with just having a representation on the council of a someone who represents the people to despite him disliking the council. Another thing that motivates him is helping rid Fiore of the riff raff that roams the towns rather he's lazy or not. There are some things that interest him enough to actually act and that is one of them.

Fears:

  • Being powerless
  • Decapitation
  • Losing His Family


Positive Traits:

  • Acrobatic (+3)
  • Agile (+3)
  • Blind-Fight (+4)
  • Daunting Presence (+2)
  • Enhanced Strength (+3)
  • Fortitude (+3)
  • Regeneration (+4)
  • Swift (+3)
  • Zealot - Scythe (+4)


Negative Traits:


  • Allergies - Grass (-1)
  • Arrogant (-1)
  • Branded - Enslaved (-2)
  • Compulsive Honesty (-2)
  • Curiosity (-1)
  • Dark Secret - Killed Five Men (-1)
  • Dependent - Parents (-3)
  • Derangement/Insanity - Vigilance (-3)
  • Harbinger of Ill Omen (-1)
  • Hedonistic (-1)
  • Indecisive (-1)
  • Intolerance - Unfairness (-1)
  • Judgmental (-1)
  • Lazy (-1)
  • Misfortunate (-1)
  • Night Blindness (-2)
  • Overconfident (-1)
  • Overzealous (-1)
  • Reckless (-1)
  • Short Attention Span (-1)
  • Star-crossed (-1)
  • Talkative (-1)



IV. MAGIC

Magic: Reishi Magic
Caster or Holder: Caster
Description: Reishi magic is once lost and ancient magic. Bestowed upon the Devine family for their ancestor's loyal ship and good soul by the Goddess of soul, Psykhe. This magic is a type of soul magic that allows the user complete and utter control over their soul. They are able to manipulate it to the way they see fit without damaging their soul thanks to Psykhe. Allowing to unlock hidden power that cannot other wise be reached. The user can manifest objects among other things from their soul along with manipulating the energy that ones soul can produce when tapped into which is how it is used defensively. The soul's energy appears as an aura and the color of the aura depends on the user, however Jabo's is yellow. The soul energy can be used to perform attacks such as blasts, rays, beams, along with the user being able to expel the energy. Another ability with this magic is that it allows the user to tap into their soul to reach it's peak by the user focusing and tapping even deeper into the power allowing for them to increase their senses to be better than normal humans. Most of the time when the magic is used the caster will have their aura glow in it's color around them. An ability that the more higher ranking Devine family members have is that they can sense the soul's of others. They also tend to be able to read souls, and see/feel the entity's characteristics, feelings, whether it even has a soul, or damage others' souls have endured. A sort of 6th sense develops after them using their Reishi magic for such a long period of time. This magic was once used in the wrong way long ago in a distant land. The previous users attempted to take other souls which is why the capability has been revoked when it was given to the Devine family.

Strengths: A major strength to this magic is that it is fairly versatile. They are a lot of spells you could do with this magic as it could be used in a variety of situations. Another strength being that this magic isn't prone to any certain elemental weakness due to the fact that the user is using his soul to do their attacks and such. Another strength to this magic is the destructive power that the energy from the person's soul can produce.

Weaknesses: The fact that energy does not have a certain element gives this magic it's major weakness. Which is that this magic will never have an advantage against any certain type of element. Another weaknesses to this magic is that you cannot control other people's souls. The user can only control his/her own soul. One of the weaknesses to this magic is that it could take a lot out of the user when used heavily. Due to the magic being destructive by nature if the user is not careful they could end up hurting those whom they never intended to hurt.

V. HISTORY

History: Born into the world on January 22nd, X759 at 5:30 A.M. was beautiful baby boy by the name of Jabo Devine. Jabo was born in the town of Magnolia. His parents were Lorrie and Orlando Devine. Jabo was birthed in Magnolia's hospital. Both of Jabo's parents were very excited for the little baby boy that they were having. They both looked forward to the delights of having a child. Jabo's mother was about the age of 25 when she had him. His father on the other hand was 35. Both of Jabo's parents were mages. Lorrie was a mage who specialized in a magic known as Shamanism. It is a very lost and ancient magic that had stayed with in Jabo's family for decades. This is the type of magic who was taught to people who were married into the family. Shamanism is magic that allows the user to contact the spiritual world along with other things such as summoning spirits and healing. Not to be confused with celestial spirit magic which is different in a couple of ways from shamanism one of them being that they didn't come from the celestial spirit world. Shamanism is something that requires a lot of time and concentration to learn depending on your connection with the spirit world already. Jabo's dad however specialized in a magic known as Reishi magic. This was also a lost magic dealing with the use of souls. This magic was passed down from generation through generation in the Devine family. It was pretty text book for almost every member to know this unless they didn't want to learn it otherwise. Jabo's father was a pretty chill headed person. He was a very calm cool collected and laid back guy who knew how to get serious when need be. His mother was pretty cool for the most part. She is a very funny person which is where Jabo gets it from. They both have a sense of humor that is the same all around. Another thing notable about Jabo's family is that they are not regular at all. Jabo's family on his father's side are descendants of the goddess of the soul, Psykhe. This is what gave the Devine family their magic capabilities. Allowing them to manipulate their soul and spirit without causing harm to it. Shamanism however is different due to the fact that it can be taught to those who don't have Psykhe's gift which was only given to the Devine family. However if you are skilled enough in Reishi magic you were also capable of learning both. Which is what only most of the most powerful Devine members learned. One of the being his dad. Jabo has two uncles, two aunts, his grandpa, and four cousins on his Father's side. He has a half-sister on his mother's side, two cousins, a uncle and a aunt.

Jabo lived in a house in the small town in Clover. He was only born in Magnolia due to the fact that Clover did not have a hospital. Growing up Jabo was a kind and kindred soul. He loved to learn new information and play with others. In school Jabo got along very well with the other children. Even while younger if they needed advice for something they would come to him which would be something that stuck with him throughout all his life. Even while younger it was obvious that he was a very smart child. He was a quick study even quicker than the other kids in his school which was saying something figuring he wasn't in an ordinary school. Jabo went to a school for kids who learned at a faster pace. At about the age of ten Jabo started to get bullied in school for being the smartest. He was afraid to tell his parents because he figured that they would be disappointed in him. One day it got really bad and Jabo came home with a black eye. Jabo's father Orlando wasn't a hot head but when it came to his son he was. His father was enraged and demanded Jabo give him the name of the boy who did this. Lorrie, Jabo's mother had to attempt to calm his father down. She eventually did as she was very good at calming people down and helping them talk out their problems. Lorrie and Orlando would come up for a different solution to his problem. Since it was still to early for him to learn magic they decided to train Jabo in martial arts. Now this was not a family thing really as it was just something that came from Jabo's mom actually. She was a very skilled fighter in hand to hand combat. She knew many different styles and various techniques. From that day on Jabo would train in martial arts. He really liked training as it gave him something else to do and pushed him to his limit. About a week later after little training the boy decided to try to pick on Jabo again. Only this time the boy was unaware of his skills that he had learned. Jabo had only knew the basics at the time and had remembered that his parents told him to never used them unless absolutely necessary. Since Jabo was a quick study he had learned much more than a regular kid would at the time. So this time when the bully attempted to hit him he simply dodged most of his punches. He could notice that they were all sort of wild and terribly thrown, but he didn't expect more due to the fact that he was versing the local bully. The bully was very embarrassed from that point because he had gotten beaten without Jabo really moving his hands. After that the bully never bullied Jabo again as he learned that day to stop picking on people. After this whole thing happened Jabo's parents were proud that he handled his fight the way he did and just let things play out smoothly.

As he got older being the smartest began to get boring for him which lead to him eventually becoming more and more disinterested. It was at the age of thirteen where Jabo started to develop into a different person. At this point in his life, Jabo started to see life in a different way. Before he was always so uptight and serious about things but he started allowing himself to have a little more fun. Jabo began to get in trouble sometimes in school, which was unacceptable by his parents. Although they never beat Jabo or anything of that matter as they knew that he would one day come to his senses whether it be the easy way or the hard way. The punishment that Jabo's parents did give is that they stopped training him in martial arts. Now even though he was getting bored with most things this was still one of the things in his life that he actually considered fun. So, after this he began to get his act back together and act accordingly. Which didn't last long which soon before something that would change how Jabo was in a way. He started to argue a lot with his teachers in school. This was a period where his parents had attempted to teach him that even though he was right most of the time it was still wrong to argue with adults. His father taught him that in that sort of environment you would simply lost the argument so there wasn't a point to arguing at all. Jabo was now sixteen and this is where he started to clean up his act. By now he was a pretty funny easy going guy who liked to joke around a lot. He wasn't very serious about anything at all except for school and his training. Jabo didn't take any crap that his teacher gave him anymore. He wouldn't argue or anything like that now he would simply try to reason with them which still wouldn't work. Jabo was a very social person and talked to pretty much everybody. But, another valuable thing his parents taught him throughout this time was to watch who you trust and to not just hand your trust out. A strange trait that Jabo developed at the time was forgetting things. His parents would tell him he had a selective memory but Jabo disagreed. At this point him and his parents had a good relationship and were a happy family. This was the point in his life where Jabo learned that he had a half-sister on his mother's side. He found this to be pretty cool since he grew up an only child and all. It turns out his sister had stayed with her dad most of her life. Jabo had also started to get a little more cocky with his intelligence and began to not pay people any intention. At least that's what they thought anyways as most of the time he actually was paying attention. But, he did have his moments where he would completely forget a conversation going on that happened only a couple of minutes ago.

Another two years had passed for Jabo being a successful student with not that many problems anymore and it was now time for Jabo to learn magic. Throughout the two years his life wasn't all that eventful. Other than the fact that he had gained some more maturity and began to give a lot of advice to people. He was the one person that if you couldn't go to somebody else about something he was the one person whom you could. Jabo didn't really have a problem with listening to other people's struggle because he enjoyed helping them and bettering their day. On his eighteenth birthday the day had finally come for him to began his magic training. He would soon be leaving the nest like most children do but was taught the ways of Reishi magic. Jabo had read books on the magic before. His family had a whole library on magic in his house where he lived. Reading about the magic in a book was not near as exciting as using it. This was one of the first thoughts Jabo had as he learned the magic. He was told the story of how his family came to be and how they are able to use this magic. It evidently as god of the soul. Apparently Jabo's ancestor had worshiped Psykhe. The goddess was apparently so impressed with his will and power of his soul that she rewarded him by bestowing a magic on his family. The first time Jabo attempted to use this lost magic it was pretty difficult Jabo had to admit. He was only trained in the ways of martial arts and at this point was a master at hand to hand combat. To learn the magic Jabo's clan used there was a brand in which was put on your soul by the council of three. Which were basically like the elders of the family. His father was one of those three along with his aunt and his grandpa. It was an unbelievable feeling of pain that Jabo felt but he toughed it out. After that his father taught him a lot about the magic which was bestowed upon him. He decided after this to stay here for a couple of more months instead of leaving when expected which was fine with his parents. Here Jabo endured even more martial arts training so he wouldn't go rusty along with his magic training.

A couple of months passed and Jabo figured it was now time for him to go. So for the next year Jabo went to travel around the land of Fiore. It was rather boring at first but eventually his James had joined him. Him and James had been friends since about kindergarten so Jabo of course didn't mind him traveling with him. Although something happened in this year that would change Jabo forever. His friend James was a bit of a gambler and Jabo was very aware of this. James was a particular man and was a very weak person. One of the times James went and gambled it turned bad for him. He rushed to get Jabo and told him that there were men coming after him. Jabo told James that he would attempt to work it out for him but this didn't go so well. When Jabo confronted the men they didn't take likely to his reasoning. The men ended up attacking Jabo as he was alone and it was about five of them who were a band of mercenaries who were hired to kill Jabo's friend James. They attacked Jabo shortly after telling him that and it became a situation for Jabo to either kill the men or they kill his friend. This was a tough choice for Jabo since he was very indecisive however he decided upon killing the men. He knew that this was wrong however he wasn't going to let them hurt someone whom he knew couldn't defend themselves. The minute the men attacked Jabo it was the end of them. In a swift matter Jabo slaughtered all of the man with a certain ease. He had been training in martial arts most of his life and found no problem with the men. However the problem was that Jabo had just killed five men which wouldn't vode well in the town he was in. So, Jabo not really knowing what to do had fled the scene not thinking of anything but a way to out of the situation. Jabo had been stopped in his tracks on the way back to his friend attempting to try to tell him what happened. The people whom stopped him were the villages military mages. Now this put Jabo in another hard spot he could either defeat these police or go quietly so he figured enough bloodshed had happened for a day and decided to give up. Little did he know that with him giving up would bring much more than he expected. Jabo would be shipped off to be a slave at a local lacrima plantation. This wasn't remotely what Jabo thought would happened, as he thought he would just be stuck as a slave or something but this was absolutely aggravating and completely humiliating to Jabo. He had to find a way to get out of this hell. While there Jabo was branded on his arrival on his left butt cheek. While here it made Jabo a much more patient person as he had to be. Jabo thought of multiple ways to get out of the place in which he was kept. He had one advantage which was the element surprise. It was known that he was a mage however it wasn't known that he was a martial artist expert. So, one day in which he was doing work him and some other people on the plantation had came up with a plan. The men in the camp ended up killing a couple of the guards and escaping. Jabo had been enslaved for a year or so, and had absolutely no place to go and had ultimately became lost. He didn't know who he was as a person anymore and went on to become a mercenary using his skills that he learned to do some things that he wouldn't be proud of in the future for jewels. During this period of time Jabo learned a bunch of skills that he wasn't that proud of however these things would prove handy in his future endeavors. He learned how to survive and cope on his own. Along with this time Jabo had also slept with a multitude of females along with falling in love a couple of time also getting his heart broke a couple of time.

It had been about a year or two now since Jabo had last seen his parents. Jabo was still wandering around Fiore trying to find himself as a person. One day while walking a man had approached Jabo whom he didn't recognized. The man had turned out to be Jabo's cousin who he hadn't seen in a while. He was very surprised to see him and knew something was wrong with the his cousin because of the look he had on his face. His cousin knew where Jabo had been. The friend who Jabo saved had told his family what had happened and his father sent his cousin to summon him back home. Jabo decided to go with his cousin and made his way back to Magnolia. His Mother and Father were very happy to see there boy again. He was far older than the last time they had seen him as it had been about three years now. Jabo's mother was excited at first but was furious with him for not reporting in. Even though she was very understanding she still had her over protective moments. They of course then asked him about exactly what happened further in depth on the day of. Jabo's father and mother were very disappointed in him however they did understand the situation that he was in. They begged Jabo to stay at home but he couldn't as he still didn't know where he was in life really and needed to continue on this journey of his. Before his leaving Jabo's father gave him something that Jabo would hold and charish which was a Scythe he had passed down to him. It was named the wrathe of Psyhke the Goddess who had given his family their magic ablities. He told him the key to learning the ways of the Scythe would be taught to him by the goddess herself. His father and him also talked about deeper things before his leaving and he told Jabo some words of wisdom. He told him that it was time for him to grow up and be a better man and that there was more to life a long with that Jabo was destined to do greater things for the world of Fiore. Jabo took his Father's words into deep consideration and would go to seek out a way to do better in life. Jabo planned to keep up with his family from now on and send them some jewels when he had it every once in a while. By this time Jabo was almost at a point of mastery with his magic and was a master of martial arts. In looking for the answers to the wisdom his father gave Jabo seeked out ways of helping Fiore. One day while he walked through the streets of a town in Fiore Jabo's scythe began to glow suddenly. This confused him quite a bit before he remembered what is was his father had told him about learning the way of the scythe he carried. Suddenly time had stopped around Jabo and he was shocked as this was very unusual. Maybe it was some type of spell he was being put in he thought to himself. An eagle had appeared in front of Jabo. He thought for sure it was something wrong with him but that all changed when the eagel began to talk. It was the Goddess Psyhke herself. She had came to Jabo to tell him that he was the chosen one. As it turns out Jabo's father didn't tell him all the information regarding the scythe. The scythe was wielded by the strongest person in the Devine family. This was a big shock to Jabo as he never thought himself to be the strongest in his family. When Jabo's father told him he was destined for great things Jabo never expected it to be anything to this extent. Psyhke went on to tell him that he was destined for things greater than he could ever imagine. The Goddess informed Jabo that his destiny would lie in meeting a man who was able to lead Jabo to greatness. Psyhke didn't tell him who the man was nor when he would meet him just that it would be sooner than he thought. She had also branded Jabo's soul herself personally enabling him to use the scythe and also giving him knowledge of how to use the scythe and the experience of past holders. Jabo thanked her and then time started again however it had been longer than he thought as about give months had passed and it was now Jabo's birthday again. He was now turning turning twenty-four. Jabo had decided that one way he could help out Fiore was helping out other people. So for the next couple of weeks before his birthday Jabo had did numerous acts to help out the locals of where he was. Most of which included getting rid of the riff raff which roamed around the town which were minor dark guilds or rather bands of evil mages that were terrorizing the town folk. One day as Jabo walked through the streets on his birthday not doing anything special when suddenly a man approached him telling him that he knew who he was and of the deeds he had done. Jabo being the person he is immediately lied as there was some things that not everyone needed to know. He told the man he had no idea what it was he talked about and the man insisted otherwise. By now Jabo had made a name for his self around Fiore as Psyhke's Wrath. He didn't really know he had got known that quickly. Jabo figured his acts went unnoticed. The man went by the name of Aiden Lost. He told him that he was starting a guild in which he wanted Jabo to join because of his skill set. Jabo wasn't easy to trust anyone as he automatically assumed the man to be lying when suddenly he told him his full name. It had all made sense to Jabo then. He had heard that name before, "Aiden Lost." This was a infamous wizard who used to be the ace of Raven Tail. Jabo could understand where the man was coming from and liked what the man had in mind. After this Jabo would get to know more about the man's true intentions and would eventually agree to joining the guild. He also figured this is what the Goddess was talking about when she told him of a fateful encounter which gave Jabo a bit of more faith in the man. The guild's name was Crime Sorciere ....



Last edited by Jabo Devine on Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:54 am; edited 2 times in total

2Jabo Devine Empty Re: Jabo Devine Tue Apr 01, 2014 12:30 pm

Inzei Mishima

Inzei Mishima
Yo, it's Noah, and I'll be reviewing your app.

General Appearance:
- State whether your character's weight is in kilograms, stone, pounds, etc.

Traits:
- Your positive traits are +31 while your negative traits are -30. You'll have to either add another -1 negative trait or remove a +1 positive trait in order to balance these two.

- Put your character's brand mark in 'Extra' (under General Appearance). It's just so that it's easier for people to find instead of having to read through the whole history. Alternatively, you can put the brand under the traits. Doing both is fine also.

- State why your character has a bad reputation.

Magic:
- Add more about the capabilities of your magic. Your magic's description is long, but some of it is the magic's history. How exactly do you use your soul to perform magical feats?

- You stated that one of your magic's strengths was that it was versatile, then in your weaknesses, you went on to say that it had little defensive capabilities. While you aren't directly contradicting yourself, I think it's a little bit wishy washy to say your magic is versatile, when you don't have a variety of defensive spells. Even the most offensive of magics will have some defensive capabilities. I'll have to ask you to add another weakness in it's place.

- Not being able to control another person's soul is a given, as godmod abilities are automatically rejected. As far as debuffing people's stats by targeting their soul goes, you'll have to make your debuff spells possible to avoid. It doesn't seem like a 'soul' is something a person can really protect. Just a heads up.

Besides that, everything else looks fine. Bump when updated!

3Jabo Devine Empty Re: Jabo Devine Wed Apr 02, 2014 12:56 am

Jabo Devine

Jabo Devine
GG

4Jabo Devine Empty Re: Jabo Devine Wed Apr 02, 2014 1:13 am

Inzei Mishima

Inzei Mishima
As far as being able to sense other people's souls, that will probably have to be put in as a spell rather than as a passive of your magic. Besides that, everything else seems fine. No reason not to approve this. PM the Guildmaster for your color!

Sponsored content


View previous topic View next topic Back to top  Message [Page 1 of 1]

Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum


  • Total Posts:
  • Total Members:
  • Newest Member:
  • Most Online: Most users ever online was 504 on Tue Nov 05, 2024 2:33 pm

In total there is 0 user online :: 0 Registered, 0 Hidden and 0 Guests
Users browsing this forum: None